EIGHT FAMILY CHALLENGES AND REMEDIES
Divorce is not the will of God
for the family but today we see many troubled homes seeking for divorce as a
solution to the challenges they encounter their different homes. When a couple
decides that it is time to end the union, the reasons are numerous and may
differ from one home to the other.
Some of the things responsible
for divorce will be looked at below from the perspective of the Bible.
Failure of the Man to Actually Leave and Cleave
To the Wife
Most men find it very difficult
to actually leave behind all ties to their single, still clinging to their sisters and mothers, most times it’s
not a bad thing but there are some delicate issues that are meant for you and
your wife alone that should not go beyond the walls of your inner.
In any decision you wish to make,
the wife’s opinion should be sought after first before any other. In Ephesians
5:22-31, God instructed man to be one with his wife – whatever he does, choices
he makes should be for the two of them.
Giving the Devil A Place
The devil can enter into any
family in different forms (Ephesians 4:27); sometimes through a friend or
neighbour via gossip. Sometimes through false prophecy from a false prophet of
God or from a spiritualist, either of them is from the pit of hell (I John 4:1).
And sometimes, the devil can come through suspicion – when he/she receives a
certain call/text or goes out a particular time. Instead of confronting your
partner about it, you fill in the gap.
Doubt arises from suspicion which
in turn gives birth to lack of trust and confidence. At this point, whatever
you hear, whatever you are fed becomes a permissible truth.
In other to prevent this there
should be no secret between you and your partner. When you are confident that
your partner hides nothing from you, there is nothing can come from outside
that can threaten your home.
Failure To Forgive
Anger and pride have ruined so
many relationships. When we get angry at our loved ones, sometimes all we want
to hear is a simple “I am sorry” from their lips. When this apology is delayed
thoughts of teaching them a lesson that they will never forget floods our
heart.
Because we love them so much,
little things that they do hurts so much. We forget that if we forgive,
everything might just go back to normal but no, she/he can’t keep doing this
every time and expects me to do nothing.
Forgive and forgive because you
are one with him/her. Pray for him/her that God will make your partner realize
their mistake.
Extravagance and Worldliness
Worldliness and extravagance has
to go together, because the love of the things of this world causes one to be
extravagant – love of fashion, love of parties, love of fancy cars etc. When we
care about these things too much and our happiness is tied to them, we will
lose sight of the purpose of why we are married in the first place, also it
will render us incapable of planning for the future.
Couples can spend more time
planning for their future – leaving a good legacy for their children, teaching
and showing (the way they live) them how they can be more purposeful in life
with the kind of choices they make and with the value they place on different
things in life (Romans 12:1-2).
Criticism and Comparing Your Partner to Others
If your ex was so good, you would
have been married to him/her but you are not which means there’s a reason why
that person is an ex, so please move on.
It hurts so much when are being
compared to someone else by someone you love especially when that person isn’t
perfect and we are letting our feelings to cover all of their wrongdoings.
Well, there are positive and negative criticisms, the former seeks to cause a
change in the right direction in the best possible way while the latter shows
an outright regret. Words like; I regret, I wish I had never met you, you are a
mistake etc. should be very far from our thoughts let alone our lips lest they
slip through our lips in the heat of an argument.
Lack Of Love And Affection
Love is everything in a marriage.
The Bible says that love covers a multitude of sins. When the love is dwindling
in a home, the shortcomings of your partner become more and more visible as
time goes by. God’s instruction to man is to love his wife and be ready to
sacrifice himself for her (Eph. 5:25-28).
To love is a choice – you can
either focus on those things you don’t like in your partner and let it consume
you or you can choose to focus on the little things that he/she does that makes
you laugh.
Wife Usurping The Duty of The Man
God is the founder and designer
of marriage; in His design, the role of man is to love his wife and head the
home, the woman’s duty is to submit to her husband and be his helper
(Colossians 3:18 & 19). When the roles are interchange, problem arises.
Women generally are attracted to
men that can take control of situations, and also would have eyes for them and
only them. The same goes for a man; he wants someone that will respect him and
he can plan with.
The head of the family is the
seat of duty. When the headship of the husband is challenged, he should turn to
the LORD in prayers.
Polygamy
Polygamy breeds hatred amongst
mates and children, which results from jealousy. The man will not be able to
love both wives equally (Genesis 29:29 & 30) which he will not be able to
hide even if he tries to treat them equally.
The best possible remedy for polygamy is to
avoid it completely. Love your wife as you would your own self.
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